It has been four months now that the myeloma has been out of control with the tumorous plasma cell load in the bone marrow heavy enough to prevent the more targeted treatments from having a chance to even begin to work. The potential solution…?

CHOP. CHOP is a cocktail of four aggressive chemo therapies. This is broad spectrum stuff. It goes in and kills. It does not care what it kills, it just kills. The potential side effects read like a litany of MSDS(manufacturing safety data sheets) sheets. I won’t list details, but in general, nausea, cardio arrhythmia, the ceasing of paristalsys (sp?), and generally feeling like shit.

On the other hand, this is also an old stand-in that has a high success rate. They use CHOP to knock the cancer back hard enough that some of the more targeted chemo can have a chance to work. The plan is for one or two doses, followed by another more standard treatment of pamolidomide, yet another thalidomide derivative much like the revlamid I took back when I was first diagnosed. The strategy is simple and I like that. If I am lucky, I won’t experience any of those nasty side effects. Many people don’t.

There is one more downside to this: I have to continue with dexamethazone, the cortico-steroid that winds me up like a ten day clock then drops me off the edge like a rock. I am near the edge of the drop right now, which is why I need to get this out of my damn system. As much as I wish to be, I am not the good stoic Marine anymore(assuming I ever was). Oh frigging well… .

Left the house about 06:30 this morning. Too late, as I hit the damn traffic costing me over an hour of travel time. I arrived ten minutes before my first appointment, then found I have to wait to get the chemo until 15:30; a five hour ‘layover’. Then I will continue on down to the farm to take a few days to get a few things done and see how I react to this stuff. That will be a three hour drive yet today. They are easy roads though, mostly two lane and in reasonable shape. Will check on the bees, and hopefully post about that in the next few days instead of this shit. Maybe put up a few pictures. The bees are always a lift-me-up…

All this bitching aside, I am really OK. I hurt in more places, and get tired very easily which is frustrating to everyone. Still ambulatory though, still driving to my appointments and down to the farm and then back home again to be with family. So this is me just bitching. And I really don’t feel like apologizing for it either. If someone does not like it, they don’t have to read it.

Honestly, those that read this have been very supportive. And I am grateful for that.

Bitch session over.